my future child: tell me a bedtime story
me: once upon a time, in nazi-occupied france...

becausejensenackles:

I feel like I should have seen that coming.

(Source: nevver)

(Source: 5keng)

dutchster:

a guide on how to make me love you
1. buy me food
2. tell me i’m funny
3. tell me i’m hot
4. it’s okay to lie
5. i’m still hungry

guy:

what hte fuck is going on

(Source: middayoil)

manhood:

This could be us

manhood:

This could be us

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

turnblrbot:

*points at mirror* what the hell

(Source: alphalewolf)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

*wakes up from long coma* *rubs eyes* what kidz bop are we on

guy:

when ur trying to get to know someone but someone keeps interrupting ur convo

image

(Source: guy)

(Source: iraffiruse)